Today, some of you may be unaware.... is a national holiday! It is my birthday! I finally hit the BIG 20!! I had 52 people wish me Happy Birthday (if you include the nice man at Bath and Body Works). 41 Facebook posts and 10 text messages and 1 phone call! It was a magical day! First, I got to sleep in, which I love! Second, I got everything I possibly imagined! The only thing missing was a love letter from my handsome missionary. I felt like a princess! And yes, I am 20 years old and I still want to feel like a princess. I was wearing LARGE peacock earrings, and brand new rain boots! YAY! We drove 2 1/2 hours to go shopping with my best friend in the whole world. Fun fact about me, I LOVE shopping. I consider it an art for two reasons. One, not all people are willing or capable of buying a decent outfit when confronted with the challenge. Two, you never just walk into a store and "the shirt" magically appears! It is a constant search for the darling fit, plus great price. Not all people are cut out to be shoppers. I shopped all day! I swear the air in the mall (even outdoor ones) gives me an adrenaline rush! It is different than regular run of the mill Walmart air. I love everything about the city, the people, the restaurants, the shopping and the lights! My daily activities consisted mainly of shopping til I drop and one round of the Cupid Shuffle in the parking lot of Best Buy. If you have never done the Cupid Shuffle, you are deprived! So in short, I hope that everyone celebrated the National Holiday on Dec 27! :)

Holding On to What I Haven't Got

What has been on my mind lately?? Well... the concept of wanting something that you cannot have. Everyone, especially me, seems to fall into the terrible mess of not only wanting things you can't have, but also legitimately needing things you can't have. If you are a natural blonde, well, you would rather be brunette. If that hair is naturally curly, well, you wished it was straight as a board. It seems like the things that I think will make me the very happiest are always just barely out of my grasp. The most quoted and favorite expression of all mankind is, "When I have ________ I will be happy." When I am rich, older, moved out, graduated or married I will be happy. How many of us are living in the present? Do we live each day like it is our last? Or are we constantly focused on what could be and not what really is. Be happy with who you are. Live for today. Don't think about what you can't have and what your life will be like 10 years from now. Love life. Today. There is the greatest line in a song that perfectly describes this phenomenon. It is by Linkin Park called Waiting for the End:
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Love

I am only 19 years old. I want you to know that it is possible to be completely in love with someone that young. I have always been a skeptic of romance and falling in love. It is something that everyone dreams about but I believe not all truly find it. I believe that I have truly found it. It is not infatuation like all of my celebrity crushes. This feeling isn't one that I have ever had before. It's new and refreshing. It isn't merely a crush or a physical attraction. What I am in is serious business. It is better than anything I have ever seen in a movie kind of love. I have had the best 6 months of my life. I never had any idea that I could be this happy. I am complete. Every other relationship that I have ever been in, I have had to compromise. My current relationship I can completely see myself being with him forever. We can talk for hours and laugh until it hurts. I have never wanted to be with someone this much in my entire life. I can completely be myself and I know that he loves me unconditionally. And now my heart is broken. The love of my life left today to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in New York, New York. He is only gone for two years but I know that it is going to be a struggle everyday. I never knew that I could be this in love with someone. My biggest comfort is that I know that he is where he needs to be and so am I.

You Will Never Guess What I Did At Work Today...

Today, I was very privileged. I got to do something that most people only watch on movies or maybe even dream about. Well, personally if I dreamed about my interesting experience at work today, then it must have been a nightmare. I don't work in a jungle, or at a local zoo. So, you might be wondering how on earth I worked with a snake today. I work on at a lime plant in the desert, where temperatures range from about 80 degrees to about 110 degrees. (And that's on a good day!) But yes. I most definitely worked with a snake today. This snake was about 20 feet long. I had to wrestle with it for about 6 hours. I wanted it to turn, and it just wanted to go straight! Its rough skin was striped with bands of black, yellow and blue. Its large head was silver, almost metallic! When my co-worker first go out the snake, he made it look like your average Joe could do it! No way!! It took every ounce of strength in my 5'9" body to keep the snake on the straight and narrow. Well my snake was actually connected to a Vac-Truck. (In short, a truck that uses a huge hose, about the size of a basketball, to vacuum up dirt and debris.) It was striped with duct tape to keep it together but it was in a very interesting pattern. The head was metal, really similar to a snake head.But the head had a long pole on it, so you could direct the "snake". So today at work, I wrested with a snake that vacuumed dirt! Pretty exciting day!

Blame It On The Rain

My big city has (well since college let out) slowly started to disappear before my eyes! Maybe we can blame it on the rain. Maybe the rain is slowing washing away my beloved city. I has rained or snowed for the past two weeks solid. Yes it snowed in May, which is highly unprobable but none the less, it still snowed. Rain used to make me blue, but ever since this last semester at college it has been music to my ears. But yesterday, the sky wasn't the only one who was crying. I believe that despite popular belief, crying is therapeutic for both genders. Now I am definitely not implying that everyone should cry all of the time. That would defeat the purpose of it. A good cry every once and a while makes all the difference. The best way to cry is to have someone there to wipe away your tears, tell you everything is going to be okay, and hold you:) Sometimes, the cry doesn't even have to be sorrowful. It can be hot tears of joy rushing down your cheeks. Crying gets everything off of your chest. It brings all of your emotions to the forefront. You are vulnerable. But sometimes when you and the person you love are both vulnerable, you get to know each other in a whole new and deeper way. So crying, whether it be tears of sorrow and pain,or gushing tears of happiness, it is good.

My First Official Day of Summer

Imagine... the most perfect day in the whole entire world.. got it?? Well, that must mean that you are thinking of the day that I am about to describe to you. My first official day of summer that I get to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. In my quiet apartment, I woke up at 10:45. A beautiful hour to wake up! Not too early, not too late. I was extremely productive. I cleaned my kitchen, cleaned my closet (I was so happy to see carpet because I forgot what color it was.),and did three loads of laundry all before noon. I checked my grades for last semester and my GPA went up! So my day is just getting better by the minute! I know that you think it can't possibly get better. Then my wonderful boyfriend came over and we cooked lunch together. Then we went to babysit his nephews. His four year old nephews loves to play and has so much energy. We drew hopscotch on the sidewalk and he thought that it was the coolest thing since sliced bread because the cute neighbor girl his "girlfriend" wanted to play hopscotch with us. After my we babysat his three little nephews, he came over to my house. We decided to attempt tie dying shirts because it sounded like a party. And I am all about the party! It was great! We both got to put on lunch lady gloves so that our hands would change colors. We don't know how they turned out yet because you have to wait 6-8 hours before unveiling our magical creations. Next we made No Bake Cheesecake. If you have never had No Bake Cheesecake, you are a deprived individual. It is like a fiesta in your mouth. Then we were listening to his iPod and my favorite song came on. It is Don't You Want to Stay? By :Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. And my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted to dance. So there in my small apartment kitchen, we danced to my favorite song. I don't think that I will ever forget the way that it felt. Then we watched a movie and he held me close. It was the perfect day. Nothing went wrong. Nothing. It was exactly what I needed and wanted. In a song by Lady Antebellum she sings,

It was the perfect day
What I'd give if I could find a way to stay
Lost in this moment now
Ain't worried about tomorrow
When you're busy livin in a perfect day.

Today was the summer day that I have been dreaming about since the middle of last semester. I just hope that the rest of May is as good as today. Today wasn't perfect because there were huge massive things that went right. It was a cumulative of so many little things going right. P.S. One last thing... I think that summer is the greatest idea ever! :) I heart summer!

Stress = Less Hair (Because I Am Pulling it Out)

Hmmm... 12:55 A.M. and I am still up. Yep. That's the life of a college student during finals week. It is possibly the most dreaded week of the entire year. You are so stressed out of your mind you have no idea if you will ever get anything done. Your room is so messy that if you don't pick up something then you aren't going to be able to distinguish where the door is. The best part about this wonderful week is that you and your roommates and potentially your next door neighbors are all experience the same exact feeling of overwhelming stress. So that means that the claws come out. Roommates lash out at each other, food supplies run low and neighbors knock on your door to ask you if they can copy an assignment. (The answer was no by the way) So the tension in our apartment is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Don't get me wrong,I really do love my roommates but I will be so excited to have a break from school. Pray for those college students that need major attention this week! TTFN

The Whirlwind of College

This is the week. The week that I break, like a Kit-Kat bar. I have a to-do list that could potentially reach the ceiling by morning. Finals are fast approaching. In short, it is crunch time for any and all college students. In my apartment, the tension so thick that you can almost taste it when you walk in the door. Any time that 4 girls live under the same roof... there is bound to be drama. No worries! No shortage in my apt! I am so sorry to all of my readers if this seems like a "poor me" post because that is most definitely not my intention. There are some wonderful things that are also going on in my crazy, hectic, busier-than-I-ever-dreamed-I'd-be life. There is solid ground amidst the whirlwind that college is. I have three constants in my life. I am so grateful to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. It is constant unchanging and most of all puts light into my life. Secondly, I have my wonderful family. They are my biggest cheerleaders and always keep me in line. No matter what happens, they support me in everything. Third, I have the best friends (including my boyfriend) in the whole world. In this whirlwind and sea of change that college is, i am just grateful to have three shining stars in my life.

At A Crossroad

There comes a crucial point in your life. There comes a time to either take action or be a bystander and just go through the motions. I have reached this point. I am at a crossroads. I have been on familiar streets but now I am stepping into the unknown... the GREAT unknown. Last semester, I feel like I made lots of friends, did well in school and had lots of great memories that I will never regret. But for a fair chunk of that time, I have merely been a bystander waiting to act. This semester I have taken hold of the reins and I am driving. Moving. With purpose. When you come to this crossroad you realize things that you may or may not have already known. I have realized that just because you live with someone doesn't automatically make them your best friend. You expect them to be because they know you so well.... They would never tempt you or exclude you. These are better known as FRIENDS FOR NOW. Fun and nice but will I call them when I really need to talk? Probably not. ....but actually I have found my best friends right around the corner. Literally. They care. They listen. They worry if I'm not home on time. They want me to fulfill my goals. They want me to be happy. This is what true friendship is. It is a sisterhood. A promise of loyalty. They would go to the ends of the earth for me. A true friend will stick up for you no matter what. Even if you are in a room and everyone is talking bad about you. I have finally realized who my true friends are. This is such a relief to me. This past week has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I feel the happiest that I have ever been. I think it is because I was at a crossroad and now I have picked a path. and I LOVE IT!

Never Grow Up

Tonight I am wandering in unfamiliar territory. I have never felt this way before. And no, I am not falling in love. For the very first and I mean FIRST time in my entire life, I am homesick. The best part about Christmas break was getting to see my family day in and day out. There is only one slight problem with living with 5 other wonderful people for a month. The first weeks you appreciate the way each person laughs, talks, walks, dresses and most of all makes you feel really special, in a way that only family can. After being there for a month, you seem to start to forget all those perfect little details that make a house a home and this wonderful 'thing' seems natural.... almost normal. That completely frightens me. When I started my first week back at college this week most everything went great. I only managed to forget where a few classes were and I met tons of people (which I totally love). All my fantastic roomies went home for the weekend, so I decided to come home too, which I totally was not planning on. My mom went to a special effort to cook me some of my most favorite food and pamper me. I even got to go to my energetic 87-year-old Grandma's house and watch the Utah Jazz win. Then I had to come back to my college apartment today even though all my roommates were going to be gone. To be honest, I DREADED it! I miss my family. Is that awful? I have always been jumping in my little yellow car at the end of the weekend happily and ready to start a fresh new week. This weekend was an exception. I tried to put off my departure as long as I possibly could. My super mom made me homemade breakfast (which is my most favorite thing to wake up to in the morning) and gassed up my yellow car and even washed it to surprise me. As I talked to my parents on the phone tonight, I almost cried, which is totally out of character for me. Don't get me wrong! I love college! But there are some nights that I miss the silly movie parties with all six of us plus the dog. If you have ever heard the song "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift, it is gospel tonight:

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up