The Four Letter Word

Yesterday was a definite mile marker in my life.... I have officially graduated from high school. Honestly, it is the strangest feeling I have ever felt. I feel like I am in Dr. Seuss' book 'Oh the Places You'll Go'. It reads, "for people waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go, or the mail to come, or the rain to go, or for the phone to ring, or waiting around for your hair to grow... Everyone is just waiting...." That is my exact feeling right now. I am not officially in college but I am not really in high school either. So really I am in limbo... or I guess you could call it a transition period in my life. I have always been one to dig a nice rut. I love my little rut... But sometimes life jerks me out of my comfort zone and makes me start digging a new rut all over again. I guess that is what life is. A constant digging, of ruts that are old and some that are new. I have cried more this week than I think I have in a very long time. The four letter word 'last' has become a poisonous by word in my home. But I guess that with the four letter word, comes a newer version five letter version called 'first'. So I guess this is where my true journey begins in the real world. The next few years will define me because I get to choose. So wish me luck in the big bad world...

Small Town Celebrity

Oh man! I feel so bad if I ever had any followers I have probably lost all of them! I have been so busy! I have gone out of town 3 of the 5 school days this week. My high school career is quickly coming to an end. I have mixed feelings about graduating. I am so excited to be in the real world and leave my small town behind. But the REAL reality of graduating is leaving behind my comfort zone, my domain. I know everything and almost everyone. Everyone knows me and expects me to act in a certain way.... I am not scared of moving away or going to college or having roommates. My deepest and only fear is acceptance. I have NO ABSOLUTELY, I repeat! No friends or even anyone I kind of know going to my same school. In my little town, I feel like somewhat of a movie star. Everywhere I go, someone who I have never laid eyes on knows me, knows my name and what I am all about. Like I said EVERYONE knows EVERYONE. So I love my little life of fame, from the little kids running up to me at work and giving me big hugs, to the middle schoolers acting like seniors rule the world, to all of my teachers and parents who think I am cooler than I actually am, I will miss it all. So I guess this is when fairytale meets reality TV show. Now the small town celeb has to grow up and move to a place where she won't be famous. No one will expect anything of her but herself. So will this small town girl luck! I am going to need it!